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I finally got some papers through for the job that I have been working at for the last couple of weeks. There's the standard offer letter (which is wrong - have to sort that out Tuesday when my manager gets back in) and the terms and conditions. There's a slightly higher wage attached which is always nice but at the back of the pack a nasty surprise lays in wait - The Security Check \ Counter Terrorist Check Questonaire.

I Hate This Form.

And that statement really should have capital letters. It's not a bad form in the whole scheme of things. I've had to fill it in before but it hasn't lessoned my hatred. It normally comes in a pinkish / salmon colour which I suppose was chosen for a completely meaningless reason but I'd like to think that somewhere a group of civil servants sat around a table and argued over which colour would best reflect the seriousness of the form while still being non-threatening in a 'I just want to be your friend' kind of way. You only have to fill in the first 15 pages and your unlucky sponsor has to fill in the rest.

But all this isn't the reason I hate it.

It asks questons intended to ascertain whether you've ever been convicted, what your financial history is (I assume to see whether it would be easy to bribe you) and whether you or you family / partner has ever been involved in things like terrorism, sabotage and things of that nature. All with a statement reminding you to be truefull as they'll check.

I obviously have never been involved in anything like this, am secure finacially and have parents that are normal and not spies or anarchists or anything else other than normal so I have nothing to be worried about.

Rationally.

But irrationally I wonder if maybe I'll make a mistake somewhere. Tick the box by accident to say that I've been involved in actions intended to overthrow democracy. Or maybe the HM worker will accidently confuse me with another Kat which shows that I've been bankrupt 3 times and am just the sort of person to sell secrets to the flavour of the month regime. Maybe (as these forms are initially read by a machine) some smudge on the page will confuse it and it will read it incorrectly to say that yes I have been involved in espionage and it tasted great!

It makes me anxious for no reason and I loathe being anxious.

It's all irrational but I still hate that form.